Friday, July 2, 2010

I'm just about ready to leave - the taxi comes in an hour and a half - and I'm nervous. I've done all thing things on my to do list, or I think I have, and thought through my plans, so in principle I'm in good shape. However, and here is where the anxiety comes in

It's possible I forgot to put something on my to do list
It's possible that something will come up that I haven't planned on (in fact is is likely)
And so on.. I spare the reader a list of the unfolding disaster scenarios.

I've been collecting ideas about how to deal with this anxiety. They all have to do with being resilient in some way, and just going through them makes me appreciate the value of thinking about resilience. Here they are - some with attributions - some not.

Remember that everything will pass eventually - RC, who has sailed through storms around the world

It is perfectly normal to alternate between denial and panic - Chaya, who did her research interviews in a Palestinean refugee camp

Impressions and experiences are valuable, they're food. Try to eat only the good food. If the emotions get too negative, sense your body, and go with your thoughts about positive reality - John, an experienced meditator

Develop a positive self state and reappraise the emotion - me channeling a combination of George Bonnano and Phil Bromberg

Just keep going, returning to Egypt is not an option - generations of Jews

Talk about my fears to an attuned other - Sheila and self psychology.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger - Nietzche and Lisken (a martial artist, paraphrased)

There are probably others, that i've forgotten and no doubt I'll learn more.

Anyhow, I'm getting ready to leave.
Its about an 18 hour flight, first to Brussels, then a layover, then to Kigali.
Stay tuned